Should parents lie about Santa? When I started planning posts for Blogmas, I looked for inspiration all over the net.
Twitter, of course, came through for me, and Katie with Dating Bitch wrote a blogmas idea post. This is the result of one of her ideas.
Short answer: No. I don’t believe in teaching kids that Santa is real. My mom handled this really great when my sister and I were growing up, and I’ve told my husband I want to do the same when we have our child.
My mom told my sister and me, “Santa is a game that parents play with their children. If you tell, you’ll ruin the game.” This got her around the whole “Santa isn’t real” discussion, and the habit that some kids have of telling other kids, “My mom said Santa isn’t real!” and breaking hearts.
So that brings up an interesting question. Why does believing in Santa defeat the purpose of true Christmas spirit?
Some parents can’t afford the great presents
I’ve seen articles around, and blog posts, where people talk about how it creates a sense of inequality for some parents to get their kids a new TV, or iPad, or roller blades, that are “from Santa,” and other kids get socks.
For me, this would bring up the question of, “doesn’t Santa like me?” or “was I bad?” and parents have to deal with this sense of inequality. We have enough of that already in the world, we don’t need to make Christmas that way too.
Solution: instead of making the big huge presents from Santa, parents who can afford the really great presents should take the credit themselves, instead of crediting the make-believe.
Santa can bring all the kids socks and clothes, thus taking away the inequality.
Santa isn’t actually real
Santa is based on a real person, and the idea of Santa has evolved over the years to the jolly elf we all know and love.
But the fact is, the Santa that lives at the North Pole, and brings presents to all the good boys and girls, isn’t a real person. We can’t travel to the North Pole and go play in the snow with the elves. So teaching your children that Santa is real defeats the purpose of Christmas.
Solution: teach your children about the man that Santa was based on, and tell them the stories about how Santa is giving, and generous, and how if we want to show the true purpose of Christmas, we need to learn those things, instead of only focusing on being good so that Santa will bring better presents.
Kids learn to be good just so they can “get stuff”
The myth surrounding Santa is, “if I’m good, I’ll get presents, but if I’m bad, I’ll get coal.” Kids should learn to behave, and be good people, not just so they’ll get stuff, but so they’ll be better people.
In my opinion, many of the entitled people that we see around the world (hello, entitled drivers!) are a result of this way of thinking. By learning that the basis of Santa is generosity, not selfishness, we can teach our children, who will be running the world someday, that sometimes other people are actually more important than ourselves.
Giving is actually better than receiving. And Love is way better than Hate.
So what do you think? Should parents lie about Santa? What did you like about this post? What didn’t you like? Leave me a comment below, but please be kind. I’d love for you to share this post with your friends, to let them in on the discussion.
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Until next time, Friends!
Thanks so much for the shout-out – you wrote a really interesting take! Personally, I’ve always done the Santa thing. I never saw it as a negative lie – I saw it as the opportunity to give your child a belief in magic. When you get older, you become sort of jaded and there’s a finite amount of time for childhood wonderment. So, I looked at it as “why not give my child as much time as possible to hold onto that wonder?”
That said, though, you’ve made a lot of good points. Fortunately for me, I’ve been lucky in life and I’ve always been able to get my son nice gifts for the holidays. For families that can’t afford that luxury, I can totally see how the Santa thing could be detrimental.
I’m really glad that you were able to see the positive aspects of this post. I know some of what I said could be seen as controversial, but I also didn’t want to come across as malicious. I’m glad that you saw that in this post.
I do see your point about wonder and magic, but at the same time, I’m really glad that my mom taught us the way she did. I feel like as an adult, I’m able to still hold onto some of that wonder, without the detrimental aspects of what could have happened when I was a child.